How many of us can say that our self-confidence wavered over the past year? Virtually every aspect of our life went, well, virtual. And that change brought a lot of our insecurities to the forefront of our attention.
For those who shifted to working from home, we had to come to terms with a slew of new topics of self-doubt:
- I’m getting distracted too much — I’m not a good employee.
- I’m overworking myself — I’m neglecting my family.
- I’m working in sweatpants every day — I’m a slob.
On top of these professional issues, parents had the added gargantuan task of helping their kids through remote learning. This also brought uploads of self-esteem issues, like:
- I just can’t keep up with all my kids’ homework — they deserve better than me.
- Why can’t I understand this new style of math? I must be stupid.
Our romantic relationships were either thrown into hyperdrive by being together constantly or came to a screeching halt if we quarantined separately:
- I haven’t heard from them for days — I must be being too clingy.
- Our romance has tanked because of the quarantine weight I’ve gained.
When you lump all these negative feelings together, it can be pretty hard to see yourself in a positive light.
That’s where this easy exercise comes into play — within mere minutes, you’ll be able to experience a sizable confidence boost.
When you notice your self-esteem is feeling low, get a piece of paper and pen and write down a list of 10 things you’ve overcome.
These obstacles can be as big or small as you choose. They can be from yesterday or five years ago.
To get your mental gears moving, here are some examples to work off of:
- I moved to a new city on my own. (Wow — that’s really brave!)
- I asked for a raise. (Way to take initiative in your life!)
- I went for a walk instead of watching TV. (You’ve wanted to be healthier — and you made a conscious effort to do so!)
- I finally asked out my crush. (That takes some guts!)
- You put together that complicated Ikea dresser. (You didn’t procrastinate!)
- I delivered an awesome presentation at work. (You worked hard and reaped the rewards!)
- I sought help for my alcohol addiction. (You took charge of your physical and mental health!)
- You call your grandma once a week just to chat. (You’re a thoughtful, caring person!)
Now, look at the list you compiled. You have real-life data of times when you weren’t lazy or unlovable or stupid.
Keep this list as a reminder for the next time you’re beating yourself up. Or even better, write a new list. You’ll be surprised how many examples you have to fill up your sheet.